Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review
No problem
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of "the boss"
Well the first thing I do is
Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck, man, I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Blackout in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)
Uh-huh, so, that's an average day for you then?
No doubt
You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Nope
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
Okay, well, this has been eye-opening for me
I'm the boss
Yeah no, I got that, you said it about four hundred times
I'm the boss
Yeah, yeah, I got it
I'm the boss
Oh, I heard you, see you later
Like a boss
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